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Jon’s Hideaway

Jon’s Hideaway
This is a memorial blog. In keeping with my husbands wishes and to keep knowledge about depression and its life threatening effects alive and in the public domain I am hosting his work on this site. Jon fought depression and understood it clearly. Here is hoping that his words will help others.

 



Book: The Man Who Wasn’t There: Investigations into the Strange New Science of the Self

I stumbled across this interview and found it completely fascinating.  It’s something that I’ve thought a lot about – out of necessity – since my illness causes fundamental disruptions to my sense of ‘self’. Read More...


This May Seem Like an Ordinary Scene from Anyone’s Kitchen …

The photos at the end of this post may seem ordinary.  But they’re anything but.

I generally use the diagnostic label Bipolar Disorder and ADD to describe my condition.  But diagnoses in the mental health business are anything but precise. Read More...


What Do You Do When Someone Tells You They Are Suicidal?

Recently a friend of mine asked for my input about a situation with a relative of his.

He had been chatting with him online and the subject of depression came up.  This relative expressed that he was struggling and said some things that were concerning.  He spoke of suffering from Depression, Bipolar disorder, PTSD and having suicidal thoughts.  He also said that he coped with the suicidal thoughts with humor. Read More...


Six Months

Six months ago on February 18th, I started taking Ritalin (in addition to the rest of the cocktail that manages my condition).

It has changed my life.

I want to go into some detail, but as it always is, my mental energy level is unpredictable and it’s just not up to it at the moment. Read More...


The Mental Health Scale

Have I talked about my Mental Health Scale before?

It’s how I tell myself, and others, what my mental health status is.  I often can’t do that in conventional terms because my mind and emotions don’t work in conventional ways that most people can understand.  I don’t even understand them very well.  But, I can kind of generalize. Read More...


My Mission and Vision for Jon’s Hideaway

It’s been hard to find the help I needed to cope with this dangerous monster of an illness I live with.  

It’s taken years … decades … to find the right combination of professional help, medication and other resources. Read More...


Depression and Anxiety Made Visible

I have always tried to capture my experience with Depression and Anxiety in writing, mostly through metaphor.  I’ve thought that music might be a good way to convey it but that requires skill I don’t have.  I do make extensive use of abstract visuals such as charts, graphs and diagrams to both represent it and cope with it.  Read More...


Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, I’ve hit the double nickel.  At 16:30 my time, here in the Netherlands, I will have arrived on this planet fifty-five years ago.

It’s been quite a ride.  It’s amazing I’ve survived it.  I don’t really understand how I’ve done it. Read More...


The Anti-Food Babe, Cross-Cultural Wisdom, Tolerance and Being an Expat

I’ve been reading Kavin Senapathy for a while, mostly because she’s the Anti-Food Babe.  But I was struck by this article.  I’ve added the comment that I left. Read More...


A Day in the Life

This is extracted from an email I wrote to my sister about what is happening in my life as a result of the new medication I have started.  I always face a conundrum when writing about my experience.  I want passionately to write about my experience with this condition because it is 1) highly therapeutic for me and 2) I hope it might benefit others struggling with the problem.  But to do so, I have to write about very personal things in a very public way when I, partly because of the nature of the condition, I don’t have a very thick skin. Read More...


Does Ritalin Change the Behavior of the Brain’s Stimulus Barrier?

I highly recommend that everyone study a little basic neuroanatomy.  You’ll be amazed at how much insight it gives you, not only into how the brain works but how your mind and emotions work and into the experiences you have every day that you normally take for granted. Read More...


Boundaries, Constraints, Overhead, Achievement and Health

My life has been overwhelmingly dominated by my mental health condition.  It affects *every* conscious thought and feeling.  It affects the pace and organization of my thoughts.  It even affects my physical coordination.  It has bounded and constrained everything I’ve experienced and done. Read More...


Private: The Personal Narrative.

Everyone lives a narrative in their heads, whether they realize it or not.  Read More...


Such a contrast – Draft

My experience with my new medication gives me a perhaps unique – or at least uncommon – opportunity to observe and comment on the difference between a normal state of mind and a depressed state of mind. Read More...


A Really Rough Blog

I have a lot to say.

A lot of it has to do with my journey through life living with Bipolar Disorder and AD(H)D, though I’ll generally be commenting a lot on Life, The Universe and Everything also. Read More...


Reality. Really? A Mental Health Perspective – Really Rough Draft

There’s an old saying that ‘Perception is Reality’.  It’s used in various ways such as explaining differences of opinion between people viewing the same facts. Read More...


From Facebook Following the Death of Robin Williams

My sister shared this with me and here are my comments in addition to it. I’ve avoided saying anything until now because I was afraid that I would be coopting the Williams family tragedy with my own stuff. But this is too good and maybe it will help someone understand this difficult subject. Read More...


The Loss of Robin Williams

I was deeply saddened and disturbed by the loss of Robin Williams.  It’s going to take a while to adapt to it.  I’ve known for years that he suffered from addiction and depression of some kind but I never expected it would take this turn.  Read More...


Het is so ver …

Or so the Dutch say in my adopted country of The Netherlands.  It means, ‘Something important is ready to happen.’  And so it is that I just start writing.  I’ve intended to do this for a very long time but various things have held me back.  Fears and doubts of all kinds.  That’s a particular issue with me.  I don’t deal with exposure easily.  Read More...

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